Are you feeling heartbroken over someone you only knew for three months or less? Did you fall in love within the first two weeks of meeting? Good news! That means you can get over him or her quickly too. I don’t mean to trivialize what you’re feeling but it’s much easier to get over someone who you don’t really know completely. Your thoughts created your feelings of love and they can also stop your heartbroken feelings.
Most psychologists believe that true love doesn’t start until that “I can’t get enough of you” stage ends. The beginning of a relationship is carefree and easy because it takes a couple months for everyone’s issues to come to the surface. More often than not feelings change once the relationship gets comfortable.
So when you first meet someone you need to keep your thoughts in the present. Put your attention on what is immediately in front of you and take it at face value. Do not allow your imagination to speed up how you feel. If you start fantasizing about the wedding as soon as you meet a great catch you’ll ultimately push your partner away. Energy is contagious. If he or she has commitment issues (they can be active or passive) he or she will start to create distance in your relationship, or just leave you.
As you start to see more of each other and your feelings begin to deepen, it’s imperative to remain in reality. If you start imagining the relationship to be more than it is, you’ll throw it off balance. You may impose unrealistic expectations. You may loosen your boundaries and open yourself to potential heartbreak—overlooking any junk-food flags. If you misinterpret your partner’s behavior to be something that it’s not, your partner may think you’re crazy or high-maintenance. Neither is good.
Read more about how to keep your relationship happy in my book Giving Up Junk-Food Relationships