It is very common when going through a breakup to have your ex threaten suicide. However, it’s usually just a desperate attempt to manipulate you to stay in the relationship. You should not give in to it. Handle your ex threatening to kill herself by getting someone else involved.
The very sad truth is that most people who are truly thinking about killing themselves don’t tell anyone. They don’t reach out for help. Life has become too unbearable and they just want to end it. If you genuinely believe that is what’s going on with your ex you’re not qualified to handle it. Call 911, tell them you heard your ex threaten suicide and you’re afraid she’s going to hurt herself. They will send an ambulance to her. Once you make that call they are required to evaluate her. If she’s truly in crisis professionals will help her. If she’s not, they’ll let her go home. Your conscious will be clean.
What’s usually happening, conscious or not, is that your ex is just playing the victim. You hurt him and he wants to make you feel guilty. He wants to guilt you into loving him again. But that wouldn’t be good for either one of you. You can’t be forced to love someone.
It’s all driven by anxiety. Many sane and rational people have had emotional melt downs when abandoned by someone they love. Anxiety causes people to act out of character. Especially if they’ve never had their heartbroken before. Many of my clients have confided in me that they would NEVER actually do it, but they have thought about killing themselves. They just don’t know how they will go on without the love of their life. But that’s why they reached out to me—to get help.
Take Action To Help Your Ex
If you’re done with this relationship and want to move on then you need to let go completely. Stop communicating in any way with your ex. You need to send a very firm and clear message that the relationship has no chance of reuniting. That’s the most compassionate thing you can do. Because any hope of getting back together is what’s keeping your ex in pain. All of your nice gestures are perceived as hope to your ex. All your kind words are actually preventing your ex from letting go.
The exception is people who suffer from depression. They already have a feeling of hopelessness. If you know your ex has struggled with depression then take his threat of suicide very seriously. However, you still shouldn’t be the person to recue him.
If you’re afraid to cut all contact because you fear she will kill herself then you need to let someone close to her know. Call her best friend, parents, or a sibling and tell them you’re done but you’re concerned. Make them aware that she’s threatening suicide. Draw a strong boundary that you want no part of rescuing her. Your help would not actually be helpful to your ex.
Going through a devastating breakup is the hardest thing for a lot of people to get through. The pain is debilitating. It destroys lives in many ways, but usually only temporarily. Businesses and careers get ignored, other relationships suffer, you withdraw, and stop taking care of yourself. But those feelings do always pass with time. How much time is up to you.
With help jilted lovers can move on and become a better version of themselves. They then can find an even better relationship. What doesn’t kill you truly does make you stronger. It gives you depth and helps you grow. It gives you more compassion for others. It some ways it’s the best thing to ever happen to you. It can actually make your future happier.