Probably the easiest way to avoid hurting yourself more when you’re struggling through a painful breakup is to stop talking to your ex. Most definitely, don’t ask any questions that can spike your anxiety and make you feel worse if you don’t get the answer you want.
Before you ask any question, ask yourself, “What’s the worst answer I could get?” And if you can’t handle that answer, don’t ask the question. Because let’s face it, you ask questions like, “Have you slept with anyone else?” so that your ex will say no. You ask to feel comforted that he or she is still connected to you. You ask because you’re hoping to get back together.
However, think about how you’ll feel if he or she says yes, and even elaborates in some way. Will that cause you to say things you’ll regret? Cause you to break down uncontrollably? Haunt your thoughts and wake you up in the middle of the night? Maybe even all of the above? Why would you want to do that to yourself? You don’t want to be your own worst enemy.
I’ve spent many hours trying to calm down clients after they asked their ex a question that sent them into a tailspin. I promise you, ignorance really is bliss when it comes to your ex. It’s none of your business what he or she is doing now that you’re not part of each other’s lives. You truly will be happier if you don’t know.
Plus the bonus of not speaking to your ex is that you can decide whatever you want is happening with him. Decide he’s miserable without you, that he has commitment issues and he can’t be happy with anyone. Decide that he’s not good for you and that you deserve someone much better!
Your thoughts create your feelings so use your thoughts to make yourself feel better, not worse. Think about your future and focus on becoming the best version of yourself. Believe in yourself and be patient to find the RIGHT person for you. You deserve someone who will make you feel loved and appreciated, someone who will never want to leave you.