After a breakup, most people don’t stop thinking about their ex until they fall in love with someone else. Therefore, when you first meet someone new you may still have feelings for your ex. That can really complicate things if your ex decides s/he wants to get back together with you.
So what should you do? Go back to your ex and try again? Or stay with the person you’re now in a relationship with?
Well, ask yourself a few honest questions to find your answer.
- Has the issue that caused your breakup been resolved?
- Was it a good relationship? Meaning you felt loved, your feelings mattered, and you got your needs met?
- Does the relationship you’re in now have better potential?
Nothing changes if nothing changes. If you do go back to your ex, things will need to be different or you will end up breaking up again. Furthermore, if your issue was that your ex couldn’t make a full commitment to moving your relationship forward, such as to get married or start a family, be careful that s/he doesn’t want you back now only because you’re with someone new. That’s a move someone with commit issues frequently makes. A commitmentphobic only feels comfortable with someone s/he can’t really have, so if s/he does get you back, s/he won’t want you anymore.
Check out: How to Recognize a Commitmentphobic
If your new relationship is going well and s/he is making you happy, don’t be too quick to walk away. Good relationships take time to grow. It may be too soon to know for sure but take a chance on the person who hasn’t hurt you. Especially if you have commonality, which is what makes people stay together.
In conclusion, every relationship we have comes into our life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. You learn important lessons from each relationship you have. So it’s healthy and even helpful to have several relationships before you make a choice about who you want to spend the rest of your life with. Your ex may just be the one who was meant to help you recognize how good your current partner is for you. Don’t blow a good thing for someone who isn’t capable of fully making you happy.