Nothing changes if nothing changes. Use this painful time to self-evaluate and decide you want better for yourself. I will help you recognize exactly what you need to change and what would be best for you now. If that does turn out to be your ex we'll make sure you fix what had broken so this time your relationship can last forever. But more likely, you'll decide you don't want the person who caused you so much pain, you'll be ready to meet someone who would never want to hurt you.
Everyone handles grief at their own pace. But you cannot heal until you accept that it is over, at least for now. Your relationship as you knew it has died. For many people the feeling of rejection, knowing their ex could be with them but just doesn't want to be, is actually harder than if they had died, especially if they're choosing to be with someone else. That's exactly why you need to decide you do not want your ex back. If you don't want someone, you can't feel rejected.
Stop wasting loving energy on your ex and focus your attention on taking great care of you. Your relationship with yourself is the only relationship you have complete control of. Take action to truly love yourself and raise your self-esteem, so you can change your pattern and make better choices. Like attracts like, as you get healthier you'll be attracted to a healthier person...and healthier people will be very attracted to you.
KRISTEN, Westport, Connecticut
If you need an unbiased, sympathetic ear to give you insight into what went wrong and help you process what you’re feeling, I’m here for you! I genuinely understand how difficult it is to be pining for someone, feeling abandoned or betrayed, and desperately wanting your ex back.
If you’re hurting or simply confused about what to do or think, call me, I’ll help you feel better. I’m easy to talk to and have years of experience to draw from to give you answers to deal with your issues. I've been there at least a dozen times myself in my 50+ years, so I truly understand how abandoned you feel; how devastating the future now seems, and how hard it is to eat or sleep, to get through each day.
Whether you’re gay, straight, male, female, unidentified, young, or old — if you're stuck and not sure what to do, I’ll help you make good choices to move forward and be happier. I may be available right now, even at night and on weekends.
TIM, Hoboken, New Jersey
TONY, Lansdale, Pennsylvania
Having lived several different lives, I promise you there is no better teacher than experience.
First, a complicated childhood, lost my Mom as a teenager, moved to New York City with a modeling agency, in the 80’s when Manhattan was a pretty wild place; studied acting, and human behavior, moved to Los Angeles for 6 years in the 90’s, when "Me Too" was called the casting couch. I was primarily selfish and broke a lot of hearts, until I had my heart ripped out at age 30, before "ghosting" was even a term and there was no internet to search for answers.
I'll effectively help you through this breakup because of the dozens of devastating breakups I personally caused and suffered through over those three decades — knowledge was the only thing that made me feel better so each and every painful experience further enriched my ability to help you. I’ve tried everything and I can tell you first hand what does and doesn’t work. As my long-term clients can tell you, the 100’s of people I have now coached since 2007, has made me even better.
By 2001, I had gotten so good at dating I was asked to be in a reality show called, "The Real Sex & the City". That lead to co-hosting a talk show about sex & relationships and by the end of that decade I was writing my first magazine column, had been through NYU and was now coaching others how to get over their breakups. I published my book and became the relationship expert for Good Morning America.
If you love something set it free, if it comes back to you, it's yours, if not it never was.
"No one should feel alone or lost as I initially did during my breakup. Donna was the one who enabled me to feel that I could make it through, and I did, with all of her spot on advice."
"I reached out to Donna and after just a first phone call felt deeply understood, which meant everything at that moment."
"I really want to thank you for all your help and support, and answering my emails and meeting me at random times etc. I realize I was able to achieve more with you in only 13 hours than I was able to achieve with all the other coaches I had worked with in 40+ combined hours of coaching."
"I wish I would of come across your advice earlier. I bet half the population are making these mistakes but don't know it."
"During 2017, I met and fell deeply in love with the man of my dreams. Not only was he extremely handsome, but he was also caring, compassionate, and an amazing friend. I couldn't have been happier. However, after four months, the relationship suddenly drifted and I sensed an unforeseen break-up headed my way.
Wanting to save the relationship, and thinking its demise was entirely my fault, I engaged Donna Barnes for guidance and support. Donna was absolutely amazing - she took the time to coach me about the status of the relationship, why certain events were happening, my emotions, and how to regain my strength when the relationship finally ended.
I found Donna's insight, feedback, and advice to be spot-on. I have since healed and I am now ready to date again, something I never thought possible several months earlier.
Donna's coaching was very valuable to me and I now consider her a close and great friend."
"Although my experience with a psychiatrist and other counselor were helpful, neither of them were able to show me which options truly existed, and how to make the right decisions. Donna always had the right advice, and as we all know, during a breakup we sometimes can't seem to keep it together. Donna made sure I didn't fall apart, she was available when I needed her which is priceless during a breakup (unlike the other counselors), and kept me moving in a positive, healthy, and happy direction."
"Donna is an excellent person and personal coach! She made herself available for me Just a few minutes after booking my emergency coaching! I suffer from anxiety and as soon as my ex reached out I went into panic mode. Donna was there for me within minutes and I felt instant relief!! Not only did she listen but she knew exactly what to say and do to get the results I needed! Thanks to her not only did I get my ex to chase me and regret the breakup but also helped me realize my worth! Piece of mind is priceless! I’m so happy I found you! Thank you Donna!! YOU ROCK!!
GABBY, New York, NY
I call my coaching method The Painful Truth, because there is no quick fix to stop hurting from your breakup. No one can guarantee to get your ex back, because people have free will. You can’t control what your ex does; and if you try it makes you feel helpless, but shifting your focus to taking care of you makes you feel empowered. The Painful Truth is this breakup is the best thing to happen to you. Because your pain can help you grow. Now is your chance to look at your own issues and raise your self-esteem, so you can become the best version of yourself. Nothing changes if nothing changes, if you do get a second chance with your ex things need to change, so you can make it last this time. But first this action plan will help you recognize if your ex is even good for you, and if not, how you can find someone better.
I talk to you just as I talk to my personal clients. I share case examples and personal stories to give you experiential insight. I am always compassionate but there is some tough love to help you recognize the truth about your ex, your breakup, and yourself.
Step-By-Step Actions to take to get you through your breakup, feeling empowered, and becoming the best version of yourself. Includes interacting with your ex, scrutinizing the relationship, healthy boundaries, looking at your baggage, closure, moving on, and a lot more.
I offer a 50% discount on a personal coaching call with me when you sign up for the Action Plan.
Get personal support from Donna, and commiserate with other members who are likewise struggling through a devastating breakup and missing their ex. Having a panic attack? Need a pick-me-up, or intervention? You will never feel alone.
There are fun quizzes about communication, emotional intimacy, and if you should want your ex back; checklists to identify missing boundaries and abandonment issues, and toxic behavior in your ex such as narcissistic or an addict.
Action worksheets to identify your true self, to raise your self-esteem, to take responsibility for what you do right and wrong in your relationships, to change your patterns, to set ACTION Goals, and lots more.
Only 50 spots available