If you do an Internet search for “How to Get Your Ex Back” you’ll find pages of videos, downloadable answers (for a price), and even a few guarantees from non-accredited individuals who promise they have the solution you so desperately want. But this is a cold hard fact:
PEOPLE HAVE FREE WILL AND YOU CAN NEVER MAKE ANYONE DO ANYTHING.
There is no guaranteed plan for reuniting with an ex! All this obsessive energy you’re focusing on trying to get your ex back (to control what he or she does) is only keeping you in pain and preventing you from taking care of yourself. The only person you can control is you.
When you chase something it runs. Stop chasing your ex! Breakups are usually a result of anxiety. What is most likely happening is that your anxiety over being abandoned is stimulating your ex’s anxiety about commitment. You need to just stop, and let go. Even if you have already stopped calling, texting, and/or seeing your ex, your energy is contagious; if you’re focusing all your thoughts on your ex your energy is keeping him or her away.
What you need to do now is put your attention on today and only think about what you can do for you to make yourself feel better. Working out is a natural anti-depressant, it releases endorphins commonly called “the happy hormones”. Working out will also help you sleep better. Use this time alone to start looking and feeling your best. And if your ex did truly love you, he or she will find their way back to you when their anxiety subsides and he or she can feel their true feelings.
“If you love something set it free, if it comes back to you it’s yours, if not it never was.” — Anonymous
The only way you can possibly get your ex back is to stop initiating any communication, let go, make yourself the best that you can be, and stop trying to control the outcome. If your ex genuinely loves you he or she will come back to you. But be careful what you wish for, there is no guarantee that his or her anxiety won’t cause them to leave you again.
Need help getting over a breakup? Call me for Breakup Coaching.