While it is very true that there is no quick fix for getting over a breakup, in this video I want to show you how simple my Action Plan can be. In case you missed my first video make sure you watch that now. I showed you that trying to control what your ex does will keep you feeling helpless, but focusing all that energy on yourself will make you feel empowered. I also showed you how I’m different from other coaches and why I’m so good at helping people like you feel better without your ex.
The first step in getting to The Painful Truth is acknowledging that people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Figuring out the reason your ex came into your life will help you determine if your relationship was meant to last forever, or for just a portion of your life. The reason all breakups happen is to learn something about yourself. But if you choose to blame your ex for the pain you’re feeling then you’ll miss the lesson that will make you a more attractive partner.
The only way to lessen the pain of missing your ex is to focus your thoughts on something else. I know that is easier said than done, that’s why my action plan uses your obsessive thinking positively. You can use your desire for your ex as motivation to dive into learning about yourself with my step by step assessment of you and your ex.
Here are a few of the steps to get you started:
- Write a cons list of all the things you didn’t like about your ex and how you interacted with each other. Start with how abandoned you feel right now. If you think you had a great relationship, that this was the best one you ever had, then you need to recognize that the way you and your ex were in the beginning of your relationship is not the same person your ex is now. Your relationship stimulated your ex’s issues and created anxiety, that anxiety is why you’re apart now. So use pen on paper to write the cons because your brain processes information better that way, it will help you determine how good or bad your relationship was at the end, not at the beginning, which will help you process if you should even want your ex back or not.
- Decide that you’re not going to hear from your ex for at least 90 days. Change your thinking from wanting to communicate to not wanting to connect at all, that will remove the hope that is causing you pain. Update your ex’s contact profile in your phone by changing the ringtone to something different so that every time your phone rings or you get a text you won’t hope it’s from your ex; you’ll know it’s not which will help calm your own anxiety. And remove your ex’s picture if you haven’t already, replace it with a no call icon. Change their name to “Do Not Contact!”
- Out of sight is the beginning of out of mind. Get rid of everything that reminds you of your ex. If you don’t want to throw it away or destroy it then put it in a box somewhere out of sight. For digital things create a folder labeled “Do Not Open” and drop everything involving your ex into it. Getting rid of all visual stimulation will help you feel so much better.
In my upcoming Breakup Recovery Action Plan I’m including multiple checklists and quizzes to help you pinpoint specific behaviors to avoid like narcissistic personality types and also healthy habits to adapt such as boundaries, self-esteem, and emotional intimacy. There’s even a quiz to see if your ex was good for you and if you can possibly get a second chance. So make sure you keep an eye out for the exact details of what’s included that I’ll be showing you in a few days.
In my next video I’ll tell you my number one secret that I’ve been using for years to get through painful breakups. It’s a simple trick that you can use right away to help you feel better. You won’t want to miss it.