Are you focused on something other than your relationship

Do You Know if You’re Self Absorbed?

DonnaBarnes Fix Our Issues Leave a Comment

After a breakup, it’s easy to have 20/20 vision about what you could have done differently to save the relationship. But how about while you’re still in the relationship? Being self absorbed will destroy your relationship. If your current partner is important to you then you need to make sure …

Are you hung up on someone you can't have?

Is Your Kryptonite Destroying Your Relationship?

DonnaBarnes Fix Our Issues 1 Comment

Can’t stop thinking about someone you can’t have? Feel like you’re settling in some way for the relationship you’re in? That’s what I call Relationship kryptonite. Perhaps it’s your ex that you haven’t gotten over, “the one that got away”. Or frequently it’s a one night stand, or a fabulous …

Are you in love with an addict?

Dating An Addict

DonnaBarnes Fix Our Issues Leave a Comment

Having a positive attitude and being a supportive partner is something I highly recommend—unless you’re dating an addict. When you first meet an alcoholic, you may not see his or her drinking as a problem. Drinking is very social, and when you’re attracted to someone, it’s easy to get swept …

Controlling your finances is absuive.

12 Steps to Protect Your Finances When Leaving an Abusive Relationship

DonnaBarnes Fix Our Issues Leave a Comment

by Dana Sitar (@danasitar) for The Penny Hoarder Lisa Orban was married to her abuser for three years. In 1990, she left after he threatened to kill her and their two young children. She was 20 years old. Her financial situation in the marriage? “Bad, in a nutshell,” she recalls. Not …

You shoudl never look at your partner's phone

Looking at Your Partner’s Phone

DonnaBarnes Fix Our Issues Leave a Comment

If you feel the need to look at your partner’s phone there is something wrong; either with your relationship, or with you. Under no circumstance is it appropriate for you to snoop in your lover’s phone. It’s a violation of his/her boundaries. It damages trust. Once trust is gone it’s …

Get your plan ready. It's time to leave your relationship.

When Its Time to Go: Part 1

DonnaBarnes Fix Our Issues Leave a Comment

A checklist of essentials to take with you when escaping abuse Walking out the door and away from an abuser—or kicking an abusive partner out the door, if so inclined—is seldom as easy as it sounds. Abusers thrive on power and control, and having their victim leave them is the ultimate …

Are you in limbo waiting for something to change about your relationship?

Are You in Limbo?

DonnaBarnes Fix Our Issues Leave a Comment

Are you waiting for something to happen that is out of your control? Like for your ex to come back, to get married, or move forward? That’s being in limbo, and limbo sucks. Take your power back. Make a strong choice that you want something better. Take action and/or walk …

Breakup With Your Frenemies

Breakup With Your Frenemies

DonnaBarnes Fix Our Issues Leave a Comment

Do you have a friend that you don’t really like but you stay friends with anyway? The very nature of the word “frenemy” which is a merging of the completely opposite words “friend” and “enemy” should tell you it’s not a good relationship. But frenemies are more than just bad …

The better way to breakup

The Better Way To Breakup

DonnaBarnes Fix Our Issues Leave a Comment

Hurting someone’s feelings is never easy but if you want to end your relationship it’s the compassionate thing to do. In fact, the more final you can be the better. People hear what they want to hear. If you try to sugar coat the breakup your soon-to-be ex will focus …

Don't Let Your Best Conversation Be Your Last

Don’t Let Your Best Conversation Be Your Last

DonnaBarnes Fix Our Issues Leave a Comment

Too many people are afraid to tell their partner their wants, needs, and desires because they don’t want to destroy their relationship. But keeping them to yourself will cause other problems and usually end it anyway. Several of my male clients have all told me the same thing. “The best …

It's time to stop blaming your parents for your issues

Time to Stop Blaming Your Parents

DonnaBarnes Fix Our Issues Leave a Comment

Are your childhood issues ruining your relationships? If so, I have to tell you that’s your fault, not your parents. But that’s good news! Because you have the power to stop allowing your demons to sabotage your chance at true love. Stop blaming your parents and start taking action to improve …

The best way to make your ex leave you alone

Best Way to Make Your Ex Leave You Alone

DonnaBarnes Fix Our Issues Leave a Comment

If you have broken up with someone who is not letting go and won’t stop contacting you, the best way to make your ex leave you alone is to send him/her a very clear message that you are done. As a breakup coach, most of my clients come to me …

No one likes to be scolded, it makes them defensive.

Playing The Victim Won’t Help You

DonnaBarnes Get Over a Breakup Leave a Comment

Blaming someone for the ways they hurt you or pointing out what they did wrong only makes you look bad. It certainly does not endear them to you. Playing the victim will never get you what you want, just the opposite. The best way to get someone to do what …

Be compassionate and do not leave the door open if you're done with the relationship.

How to Tell Someone You Don’t Want a Future Together

DonnaBarnes Fix Our Issues Leave a Comment

If you know the person you’re dating is crazy about you but you also know you don’t want a future with her than the compassionate thing to do is end it and stop wasting her time. Hurting someone a little now is better than devastating them later. The old, “It’s …

Breakup the right way. Have integrity! What goes around does always come back around.

How to Breakup the RIGHT Way, NOT by Ghosting

DonnaBarnes Fix Our Issues Leave a Comment

Have you ever had your heart broken? I believe that is a defining question. Post-heartbreak, many of my clients experiencing it for the first time have had epiphanies. All of a sudden, they felt sorry for how they behaved or for things they had said to past lovers before they …